REVIEW: Drafting text

We have written a first draft of text that we will improve and develop so that it sounds like a professional and convincing review. We considered design and language conventions, mostly being inspired by the way the reviews are written and presented in 'Empire magazine', as this is the magazine we chose to feature our review in.

This is our first draft of text that we created:

RELEASED: 20th May 2011 CERTIFICATE 15 DIRECTOR Hayley Hyde CAST Hayley Hyde, Sally Huddleston RUNNING TIME 5 mins PLOT Innocent Lacey {Hayley Hyde} is very happy with her life and has lots of friends. But one day takes a turn when the laughter becomes a disaster. Lacey soon realises that life isn’t as straightforward as what it seems. It is sometimes a little twisted.

Most reviews state the release date and age certificate in order for the audience to know if they are the right age to view it and if they are, to inform them when it will be available to watch. Other information is running time, the director, the actors starring in the film and, the plot, which this gives the audience a general idea of what the film is about before they read critics.

INTRODUCING Hayley Hyde and Sally Huddleston - both involved in the whole creative process as well as starring in their own ‘Twisted’ film. Their creation gives an insight into the lives of college students, as they dig deep into emotions and contrasts to give viewers a unique perspective of life. The new actresses on the scene unmask these memorable first characters with whom anyone can relate. The drastic change in character shows how one event can ‘twist’ a person’s entire being, both inside and out. In an interview, the girls were asked, “What were you trying to show to people through your film?” They responded with saying that “the film is about showing how the smallest little thing like an argument can have a huge effect on someone and what they might do because some people ignore it as they don’t understand how bad it can get”.

This paragraph gives the audience further information about the directors/actors. It gives them more of an insight into the film structure but at the same time, not giving much information away, which keeps the audience wanting to know what will happen. We thought that it would be different to add an interview, as this isn't a convention. Our short film could have an impact on the audience, making them feel a little uncomfortable at times, e.g. the lack of sound within the short film. Having an interview isn't usual, common or known to be in a review and therefore we thought that this could possible give a similar feeling to the review, like how the film does.

VERDICT A creative and inspiring piece, these up and coming teens have already left their mark in the industry with an insight to the complex life of a teen in school and a subject that many people have experienced, bullying. But the ‘twist’ is who is the one that is responsible for everything that happens? In fact, who is the problem here? ****

A verdict sums up the film and is from one person's opinion. For our film, there could be a variety of opinions. Therefore, the audience would want to give their own verdict now one person has already, in order to see if they would agree or disagree.

However, due to further research on target audience of Empire magazine, we decided to change the magazine that our review will appear in. As a result of this, we needed to adapt our text to the language conventions of a new selected magazine. We also decided to delete the interview, as we felt that it wasn't working. It isn't a convention of a review and people wouldn't have seen the film yet so they may not have understood the reason as to why we decided to add this in. We felt that it wasn't flowing because it didn't suit the style. As a result of this, we needed to redraft the text, by taking the information said in the interview and may be putting it into an opinion/comment/general written opinion from the magazine. We also wanted to talk more about the sound and explain the film further, so this would sell it, encouraging people to want to watch it. However, we had to make sure that too much information wasn't given away. We added alliteration, especially in association with the actresses such as "Happy Hayley". We thought that this would sound more interesting to read, as a lot of youngsters don't like reading a lot. Also, this is easy to remember, making this stay within their head. Therefore, the target audience would talk about the new film to friends and family. We adapted the text we had, also adding adjectives and several rhetorical questions which would link to the film because 'Twisted' opens many questions for the audience.